It started with attempting to do the zip up on the back of my purple dress, it continued with trying to open a new jar of strawberry jam and ended with answering the sales lady who was taking my details that yes, I was Ms and not Mrs. Oh the journey of clichés single life brings.
And to be honest, dear fellow life liver, it’s different to how I remember. Or maybe it’s different in your thirties. Eeuw, ‘in your thirties’, wretched little words. When your life goes galloping boldly down a specific path (getting married at 24), it seems so clear how things will be in the future when you are older and wiser and have made mini yous. And then, ahem, life happens. Loads of it, lived, right before your eyes, right before you can stop it or tell it to give you a minute to tweet it all.
And suddenly, trust me young uns, it really is suddenly, you’re 31. And single. In a no man’s land (yes, a no man’s land) of living a grown up life completely selfishly. For you. Here’s where it gets tricky…I love it. This grown up existence of eating loads of sushi whenever and going to the movies at the last minute, sleeping diagonally across the bed and just generally living for myself. But, how can something you love also sometimes, just sometimes, make you bone crushingly sad? Sad to not be a mom in her twenties, sad to not be buying the teeny, tiny dresses that dance on the rail at Woolies as I walk past, sad to not be telling stories, or showing pictures of my mini mes and family holidays. Sad to not be building something, with someone. To love and be loved.
But then, just as this sadness is about to become a full body tattoo of no return, I see saw back to complete calmness and euphoria that life is exactly as it should be. That I am so grateful for these unexpected adventures. That I would only want that life if it was completely right. That things happen as they will and that Heidi Klum is way over 30 and still a super hot mom.
I don’t really have an answer here. I’m not sure if I even have a question. But, I reckon that if I feel like this, as the sheriff in ‘The Walking Dead’ said, “There must be more of us out there”. Just incase there are, I want to say you are not alone, don’t worry too much about the see-saw, just enjoy the playground.
I took this photo last night when I figured out how to use my camera’s timer. Rah!
PS. On running into exes.