Three moments today when I thought about holidays, love, sherbet, living in a caravan for reals and what it would be like to be a Siamese twin. Not really in that order.
What seems like decades ago, in a shopping centre once, I held my own hand to remember what it felt like.
Because tomorrow is Monday when it should be Friday and because the holidays are so close we can almost feel the sea sand between our toes and yet so far it might as well be March, I needed a bit of a smile maker. Little did I know it would come in the form of discovering a road named Skateboard Street. Ameezing.
I have driven down this road a million times, maybe even a zillion times. But it took driving along it at 5:30am on Saturday morning to literally make me gasp. Times like these I wish that instead of sticking my Blackberried hand out of the window, clicking and hoping for the best, I had an inflatable camera crew next to the jumper cables in my car boot. I would whip them out, bicycle pump them to life and say, ‘Hey, capture this breathtaking moment we have happened upon.’
Four moments of colour on a particularly grey day.
Dear 83 year old self,
It’s the future, right? A place where cellphones are microchips in ear lobes, not recycling is a criminal offence and kids don’t know what vowels are. Is there anyway you could pay someone/build your own time machine, pop on a pair of skinny jeans (those are huge now) and swing past and answer a few burning questions?
1. Do you still have fish? There’s this rumour going around that they will be extinct by 2048. Fish and gingers, apparently?
2. Is that weight machine at gym that I do so endlessly ever going to give me perfectly sculptured arms?
3. As I always secretly suspected, do the Jolie-Pitt kids have joint presidency of America?
4. Is it true that you can’t imagine a time before the Gautrain took everyone everywhere? I really hope so.
5. Who wins? Work me or housewife me? Please just tell me, please.
6. Does time really heal all? And if not do the scientists of the future create some kind of heal-all machine?
7. Do we in this past seem kind of silly for going so crazy over a little thing called facebook?
8. In the future, is there anything that Woolworths doesn’t sell? Cars? Coffins? Cobras?
9. Do I ever find my way, my place? If so, do share, do.
10. Do Kinderjoy Eggs of the future have animatronic pets in them instead of little plastic toys? If not, maybe share this idea with those scientists.
Please tell all my beloved friends in the Old Age Palace that we share that I love them and can’t wait for decades of adventures. Also, when you get here you can say things like ‘Epic Fail’ and ‘What would Gaga do?’ . Those will help you to blend in.
I promise to always floss and take care of my knees. In the mean time, you get going on that time machine.